RobbUnfiltered Weekly NFL One-Liners: Week 3

Week 3: Danny Dimes dominates Tampa, Dallas and Dak destroy the Dolphins, Detroit deconstructs Philly, and the Redskins drop a deuce on MNF.

Arizona Cardinals (0-2-1) — Still the best win less team (and one of the most fun to watch – they should be traded to the XFL.

Atlanta Falcons (1-2) — Back to underachieving, but at a high level, right Matt Ryan (I’m looking at you).

Baltimore Ravens (2-1) — The final score was a little misleading but the real test will be kicking the thought to be Super Bowl bound Browns while they are down.

Buffalo Bills (3-0) — They finally get a real test with TB12 and the Hoodie coming into town.

Carolina Panthers (1-2) — Cam Newton is apparently the problem and Kyle “who the fuck is he?” Allen is the solution.

Chicago Bears (2-1) — Nothing like beating up on a JV squad on MNF to boost your confidence.

Cincinnati Bengals (0-3) — Battling Washington and Miami for shittiest team to already be eliminated from the playoffs.

Cleveland Browns (1-2) — Pro tip Baker, only clap back when you are legit. Browns act like they are 3-0 and play like they are 1-2.

Dallas Cowboys (3-0) — Keep in mind that the best players from all three teams Dallas has played so far could not beat their backups. The Saints will give them their first true test.

Denver Broncos (0-3) — If Joe Flacco was a real bronco, his owner would have taken out back and shot him by now (that was a joke, I do not condone shooting Joe Flacco the person, or any other person for that matter…you have to say that these days, otherwise I’ll get blamed for some bullshit…anyways, you get the point, Joe Flacco is not that good).

Detroit Lions (2-0-1) — How the fuck do the Lions beat both the Chargers and the Eagles in consecutive weeks, but tie the Cardinals in Week 1?

Green Bay Packers (3-0) — The Pack face a desperate and banged up Eagles team this week in their first true test.

Houston Texans (2-1) — I’ll trust the Texans until JJ Watt and Deshaun Watson have their yearly injuries.

Indianapolis Colts (2-1) — Andrew who?

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2) — Garnder Minshew II needs his own reality show. I don’t know shit about this dude, but I can just tell that he is everything everyone loved about Gronk times 3,000 (that’s right, I just kind of quoted Avengers: Endgame fanboys and fangirls).

Kansas City Chiefs (3-0) — I say this every year… let Andy Reid coach until the playoffs and then send him home.

Los Angeles Chargers (1-2) — The Chargers are like the child that you are openly disappointed about and willing to tell them so constantly.

Los Angeles Rams (3-0) — The Rams are quietly putting together a good resume.

Miami Dolphins (0-3) — Good news for the Fins…the players live in Miami where I hear it is very nice.

Minnesota Vikings (2-1) — The Vikings are the worst 2-1 team in the league but only because the overpaid their QB.

New England Patriots (3-0) — Will Buffalo be a roadblock or a speed bump? 

New Orleans Saints (2-1) — No Drew Brees didn’t mean shit last week and it won’t for awhile if their D plays like that.

New York Giants (1-2) — Danny Dimes gives them a new perspective but they lose their stud running back indefinitely.

New York Jets (0-3) — Luke Falk threw for 98 yards—I don’t really think I need to expand on that any further.  

Oakland Raiders (1-2) — It could be worse—they could have the other Gruden as their head coach.

Philadelphia Eagles (1-2) — The Eagles lost to the Lions, at home, despite winning the game statistically…

Pittsburgh Steelers (0-3) — Playing Cincinnati should be just what the doctor ordered.  

San Francisco 49ers (3-0) — No one saw this coming, not Jimmy G., not Little Shanny, not John Lynch…I saw an interview with one of their players and he didn’t realize that they were 3-0.

Seattle Seahawks (2-1) — That was the Seahawks team I was expecting in the first two weeks, not in a home game against the Saints without Drew Brees.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-2) — Tampa threw away an opportunity against the Giants and they won’t get too many of those.

Tennessee Titans (1-2) — I’d like this team a whole lot better if they’d find a new QB.

Washington Redskins (0-3) — The Nats clinched the wild card, the Mystics are in the WNBA finals, and the Caps will be in the Stanley Cup mix this year. The Redskins might not win a single game this season. All of those statements are true…

RobbUnfiltered is a sports podcast based out of Richmond, Va. Find me on Twitter @RobbUnfiltered. Email me at robbunfiltered@gmail.com.

This show is sponsored by On The Rox, Ponies & Pints, and Social 52, which are all located in Richmond, Va.

Sports. Life. Zero Fucks. #RobbUnfiltered

Leave a Reply