RobbUnfiltered Weekly NFL One-Liners: Weeks 1 & 2

Week 1 & 2: Surprise teams and injuries lead the way.

Arizona Cardinals (2-0) — The darlings of the league right now. Give it another year.

Atlanta Falcons (0-2) — No lead is safe. Nor is Dan Quinn’s job.

Baltimore Ravens (2-0) — All is good as long as it is the regular season.

Buffalo Bills (2-0) — This team will have to show me more.

Carolina Panthers (0-2) — No CMC for a while. It’s going to be a long season Panther fans.

Chicago Bears (2-0) — A 2-0 start can get away from you real fast. Eventually, we’ll see Nick Foles—although, that’s not much to look forward too.

Cincinnati Bengals (0-2) — It’s too early to say that Joe Burrow is going to be good, but he is already better than Baker Mayfield.

Cleveland Browns (1-1) — The NFL announced Thursday that no matter the score of the game, both team owners (who are the worst in the league) will meet at the 50-yard line post-game and dance down to knuckle junction bare chested to determine the outcome.

Dallas Cowboys (1-1) — New coach, same underachievers.

Denver Broncos (0-2) — The Broncos just pick up Blake Bortles. Problem solved.

Detroit Lions (0-2) — Bad luck always follows bad teams.

Green Bay Packers (2-0) — Aaron Rodgers has begun his Fuck You Packers front office tour in style.

Houston Texans (0-2) — This is all on Bill O’Brien and the NFL schedulers. KC-Balt-Pitt? Brutal.

Indianapolis Colts (1-1) — At first glance, this should be a good team. Then you realize Phil Rivers is your QB.

Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1) — Jay Gruden is a good OC. That, we already knew.

Kansas City Chiefs (2-0) — Like a cat playing with a mouse.

Las Vegas Raiders (2-0) — Maybe living in Vegas just makes for happier players.

Los Angeles Chargers (1-1) — Did the team doctor lay a big bet before he punctured Tyrod Taylor’s lung? If he did and bet the Bolts, he got quite a payout. Free advice: use your winnings to go back to med school Doc.

Los Angeles Rams (2-0) — The Rams are the NFC’s version of the Titans. I just don’t know what to think.

Miami Dolphins (0-2) — It’s the facial hair bowl on Thursday Night Football as FitzMagic and Minshew battle it out.

Minnesota Vikings (0-2) — I don’t know who the backup QB is for this team, but I bet every Vikes fan does. SKOL.

New England Patriots (1-1) — Having to look up at Buffalo in the standings must have the Hoodie going crazy.

New Orleans Saints (1-1) — In 90% of the Saints losses in the past five years, they have beaten themselves.

New York Giants (0-2) — Could be worse. They could be the Jets.

New York Jets (0-2) — Could be worse. They could be the Giants.

Philadelphia Eagles (0-2) — A former Eagles official is upset that WFT fans were crowing too much about beating the Eagles. Have you even met your fan base? Meanwhile, fans are offer to update Doug Peterson’s resume for him.

Pittsburgh Steelers (2-0) — So far so good. Oh, wait. They beat the Giants and Broncos.

San Francisco 49ers (1-1) — With all the injuries they have suffered, we will truly see what kind of a genius the coach really is (hint: he’s not).

Seattle Seahawks (2-0) — This organization gets it done with three superstars and one really good coach.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) — Don’t be fooled, this is a one and done season for TB12.

Tennessee Titans (2-0) — I’m so confused by this team.

Washington Football Team (1-1) — I said on a recent show that as soon as the clock starts in Week 1, the WFT would be eliminated from playoff contention. I was off by one week.

RobbUnfiltered is a sports podcast based out of Richmond, Va. Check out our website at http://www.robbunfiltered.com. Find me on Twitter @RobbUnfiltered. Email me at robbunfiltered@gmail.com.

This show is sponsored by On The Rox, Ponies & Pints, Charred Swift Creek and Social 52, which are all located in Richmond, Va.

Sports. Life. Zero Fucks. #RobbUnfiltered

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